Victoria Jane.
5:00 am December 29th 2009 I find myself in the hospital for an elected induction.
So now let's back up a week. My 39 week ob visit we decided to be induced. I was already 3 cm and 50% effaced. He called my cervix favorable. We chose this route because I was in a lot of pain from several gall stones and a pulled stomac muscle.
Back to the 29 th. I didn't sleep at all I was so nervous. Questioning my decision, am I making the right choice what if something goes wrong I even threw up at the hospital. But ultimately I stayed with my choice.
So we get there and it takes an hr to sign my life away and get all the paper work done. Which included signing more papers because I refused shots for her. Then they attempt the dreaded IV. I tell the nurse there is only 1 good vein and I went through cruel and unusual punishment with Jada to put the IV in. They stuck the needle in and pushed my veins back and forth to get it in. Sooo painful! I told her she had 2 sticks and that's it!! Well she tried the first arm of course no luck. Called in another nurse who tried to go through my hand and she hit my nerve!!! I almost slapped her from my reflex and started crying because it hurt so bad. ( took 6 months to not feel the pain anymore) I told her I was done and go where I told them to in the first place. She did over and done. Ugh.
Now I was in pain from my hand before anything had started! It's now 6:30 ish am they start fluids and Pitt (pitocin) nothings happening little contractions (ctx) here and there nothing big. My ob comes in at 8 and breaks my water. Which is the weirdest thing ever! Then things start picking up. Ctx are manageable I'm losing lots of fluid and gunk which most ctx. 11:00 rolls around and I'm in enough pain to ask for and epidural. She comes in checks. I'm 5 cm she says let me call it in. Only to come back to say ob wants you to labor a little more before you get it. Ok no biggie it's not horrible horrible. Then things start picking up a lot. In much more pain. I call again and now the anesthesiologist is in a surgery!!!! What I'm so mad. They said it could be an hr before he gets to me. 12:00 rolls around still no epi. I'm hyperventilating begging screaming for relief. She calls again comes back in says he's on his way let me check you. I'm 9 cm probably more because the look on her face told me so she runs out he's there I here her lie and say I'm close to 9. He comes in cold and smug telling me I should just have her since I'm that close. I wasn't hearing any of it! He puts it in I lie down and immediately something was wrong I knew it. It burned/pinched and it felt wrong. The anesthesiologist came back in check everything and said oh it's probably just the tape. ( now I know it was an allergic reaction to epi) so whatever I start screaming still in pain. My eyes rolling back in my head she checks me again I'm complete. Give me a push she says. I scream no it still hurts! Mom says I have no choice you have to. So I pretend push. The nurse says we will be here all day if you push that way. So I thought in my head ill show her and I PUSHED she yells stop because the head came out. Still screaming the ob doc comes in and says I here your epi doesn't work. I was like you think!! Tells me to push I say I don't want to. I'm crying moms crying Joan my mil is crying. My poor sister Bobbie got stuck in there and was basically traumatized lol! But I pushed hard. He says now stop half pushes. Well I wasn't hearing that I pushed with all my might and at 12:49 pm out came Victoria Jane.
You'd think it would be over and a joyous time. Well it wasn't. I didn't want to hold her or look at her. I was mad. In my head she did this. She put me through do much pain. And then I got distracted ob said I needed 2 stitches. Ok so he starts and asks do you want me to just do it or give you a couple more sticks and numb you. I said just do it! Keep in mind at the time I was totally out of it. Now natural child birth was hard and painful but being stitched up unmediated! Oh my goodness another story! And then after he was done with 2 he said well ill put 1 more in. It was horrible!
Now an hour has passed it was time to nurse. I put her on still mad and traumatized from everything. When then my heart melted. And I felt like a horrible mother for feeling that way towards her. What mother would do that?! She was a wrinkly old thing and looked just like her daddy. White hair blue eyes. I loved her right then. And then the vomit came. Ugh I think it was from the emotions and stress over the last 2 hrs.
Nursing was great and it helped since I still had milk from jada because I nursed her during the pregnancy. Jada loved her. And called her dog. That's even what she called her in my belly. And knew she was what was in there!
So now let's back up a week. My 39 week ob visit we decided to be induced. I was already 3 cm and 50% effaced. He called my cervix favorable. We chose this route because I was in a lot of pain from several gall stones and a pulled stomac muscle.
Back to the 29 th. I didn't sleep at all I was so nervous. Questioning my decision, am I making the right choice what if something goes wrong I even threw up at the hospital. But ultimately I stayed with my choice.
So we get there and it takes an hr to sign my life away and get all the paper work done. Which included signing more papers because I refused shots for her. Then they attempt the dreaded IV. I tell the nurse there is only 1 good vein and I went through cruel and unusual punishment with Jada to put the IV in. They stuck the needle in and pushed my veins back and forth to get it in. Sooo painful! I told her she had 2 sticks and that's it!! Well she tried the first arm of course no luck. Called in another nurse who tried to go through my hand and she hit my nerve!!! I almost slapped her from my reflex and started crying because it hurt so bad. ( took 6 months to not feel the pain anymore) I told her I was done and go where I told them to in the first place. She did over and done. Ugh.
You'd think it would be over and a joyous time. Well it wasn't. I didn't want to hold her or look at her. I was mad. In my head she did this. She put me through do much pain. And then I got distracted ob said I needed 2 stitches. Ok so he starts and asks do you want me to just do it or give you a couple more sticks and numb you. I said just do it! Keep in mind at the time I was totally out of it. Now natural child birth was hard and painful but being stitched up unmediated! Oh my goodness another story! And then after he was done with 2 he said well ill put 1 more in. It was horrible!
Now an hour has passed it was time to nurse. I put her on still mad and traumatized from everything. When then my heart melted. And I felt like a horrible mother for feeling that way towards her. What mother would do that?! She was a wrinkly old thing and looked just like her daddy. White hair blue eyes. I loved her right then. And then the vomit came. Ugh I think it was from the emotions and stress over the last 2 hrs.
Nursing was great and it helped since I still had milk from jada because I nursed her during the pregnancy. Jada loved her. And called her dog. That's even what she called her in my belly. And knew she was what was in there!
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