Reflection
As I deeply reflect on the last 16 months of my life, my depression was slow cooking from the beginning. Half way through my pregnancy I made an unpopular decision that no one would let me forget. Being called stupid, bullied, harassed. Putting doubt and questioning me as a mother. Saying, "They hope my baby will be ok and not die!" And "don't come crawling back to your friends when something horrible happens." Guess what? Nothing "horrible" happened. Yes, it was excruciatingly painful. Yes, things could have gone differently. But I NEVER would have questioned those things not for you. Birth hurts. A posterior baby is hell on earth. Those are legit things. Had you all not questioned me I would not have questioned myself. If I went with another midwife would I had been 10 days over due? Would I had my water break for 10 hrs and no contractions? Would I push for 3 hours? Would it take me an hour to push out her head? Would it have taken me 30 minutes of...