Momma Knight Owl

I am due to have my 4th baby girl in 4 days. I needed to do some last minute errands. My mother in law offered to watch my 3 girls so I could hurry and just get them done. I needed to go to the bank, get gas, go to fabric store and spend my kohls cash.  This was my plan all morning. The afternoon rolled around and I drove them over to drop them off. When I got there my 2 yr old was asleep. I decided I would just take her with me. She is rear facing and in the 3rd row.  I checked on her 1 last time to make sure she was really asleep and then pulled out. I drove for about 2 miles having major anxiety. I kept repeating in my head. You took bryn, you took bryn. I had planned all day to go alone and had a list a mile long. I kept thinking about all the excuses I could come up with if I happened to leave her in the car. It horrified me. I then pulled out my pin and wrote it on my hand.  This 30 minute drive made me feel like a horrible parent and was also a reality check on how...

I'm now just days away from my estimated due date. I'm nervous about what our new life will look like. I'm excited to heal from multiple traumatic births. I'm anxious to meet my newest precious princess. But most of all I'm great ful to carry another healthy baby girl and have the courage, strength and support to birth her at home.  I'm now questioning every contraction (which I have many) and tinge of pain. I'm checking for all the signs of early labor. This is the annoying fun part. She's keeping me on my toes. Will she be early? Late? On time? She has to be one of them :)  Her bed is clean and ready, clothes washed and set out for her first couple days, diapers are prepped and stuffed, video camera is charged, homebirth kit is ready and we finally have all the kinks worked out on filling the pool! We have our corner where the pool will go measured and cleared. The only thing left to do it wait. Something you can't prepare for. I'm Savoring eve...